Friday, February 27, 2009

Playing at The White House

S-O: Mommy, where does Barak Obama live?

me: The White House. You know, he has two little girls.

S-O: What are the little girls names?

me: Sasha and Melia.

S-O: I want to go to the White House and play with Sasha and Melia.

me: Ok, let me see what I can do.

So, anybody know how I might go about setting up a playdate with the President of the United States children? (doesn't hurt to ask)

Thursday, February 19, 2009

The Strong-Willed Child Cliff Notes

A friend of mine recently posted this as her status on Face Book:

____ is looking for the Cliff notes for "Parenting the Strong-Willed Child". I need help NOW!

My comment:
I read that book. Here's my solution: give the SWChild some M&M's, turn on Noggin/DisneyChannel/aDVD movie, pour yourself a glass of wine, go to your bedroom, shut the door, go into your bathroom, shut the door, go into your closet, shut the door, drink the wine and breath....cuz you're screwed. No book will help you. Welcome to the club.

I SOOOOO should write my OWN book. It would be titled
The Strong-Willed having children gave my Mom sweet REVENGE.

Can I getta Woot Woo!?!

Why YES, I can.

Last night I went out for a MUCH needed GNO with some of my friends.

During dinner, I made a solo visit to the ladies room.

Anxious to get back to my table of quirky friends I quickly cut through the bar section of the restaurant and then... it happened.

"Woot Woo!, Darn girl, you fine!"

So, can a girl in her thirties (ok, a Mama of two, not so much girl but low thirties) out on the town(ok, so we weren't 'out-on-the-town', we were just at a local steak house) still (still? as though I have to ask) turn heads (ok, so maybe he didn't say the 'darn girl you fine' part, but the 'Woot woo' really DID happen)?


Thursday, February 5, 2009


Last night, as S-O snuck into bed with John and I at 2 a.m., she snuggled up close and hugged my neck.

"Mommy, I love you. You smell good."

She's been redeemed.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Ewwwww, GROSS!

Watching American Idol has become a family ritual in our household. S-O especially loves watching all the "silly goose" singers.

In one of last weeks episodes, they showed an AI wannabe in line waiting for his audition. He was a rather large fellow who thought it funny to lift his shirt and show his Man Breasts and hairy chest to all of America while sticking out his bright pink Gene Simmons tongue.

I shrieked, "Ewwww, Gross!"

S-O must have made a mental note of that moment.

Two days later, she walked into my bedroom while I was changing out of my pj's. I had just lifted my shirt over my head (and might I note, NOT sticking out my tongue) when she shrieked.

"Ewwwwww, GROSS!!!!!!!" and ran out of the room.

How's that for motivation to join a gym.

A word of advice. Hypothetically.

If, HYPOTHETICALLY, you had an illness that was cured with a VERY PAINFUL dose of penicillin in your RIGHT buttock cheek, and your husband happened to return from a week long business trip the same day said illness was cured, and despite your craving desire to make out with your husband you waited the advised 48hours to lock lips with him so he would not contract said illness, and once the probationary period was over and you did give in to your lustful desires to the point that your mind was no longer on rational thinking.........
Do not...lean to the side, RIGHT butt cheek in the air, and say (even jokingly, please I warn you) to your husband, "I've been a bad girl, I need a spanking."