Unworthy

This weekend, we went to TN to visit family. After loading up the truck with DVD player, toys, kids and suitcases (and going back in about 5 times for items we forgot) we were ready to hit the road.

"Where's the map quest I printed out and put on your purse so we wouldn't forget it?," John said.

Oops. I must have left it inside. I was NOT opening the garage door, unlocking the house, turning off the alarm, turning on the alarm, and closing the garage door for a 6th time.

Besides, it would be a great opportunity to try out the navigation feature on the new (to us) SUV.

First step: program in a home address.
Second step: make sure the correct regional navigation CD was loaded
Third step: program in a destination address.

Seems easy enough. So we get on the road and follow HER directions.

(in a soft feminine voice) "Proceed on HWY123 for 6.2miles. Be prepared to turn left onto HWY 456"

Nice. We drive for 6.2 miles then turn left. Great.

(soft voice again) "Proceed on HWY456 for 10.8 miles. Prepare to merge onto HWY 789.

Although we were sans the map quest printout, we've driven this route before and know we shouldn't take HWY 789. So we continue straight and planned to hit HWY101. We pass the exit. HER exit.

(soft voice turns a bit louder and harsher) "You have chosen a path that is not recognized by this system. Please make a legal u-turn and proceed on the designated path."

I hit the 'ignore this route' button to shut HER up. A few 100 yards farther, the screen goes blank. Is it broken? Did we mess up the 'path' thus lose the information that had been stored? Will we have to program it again? Darn HER if she ruins our time table by forcing us to stop for directions. I should have just went inside and gotten the map quest directions when I had the chance. Why was I so lazy? I'll never use this stupid navigation system again!!!SHE doesn't know where we're at now. We're lost!

Then, as if nothing had happened, she says, "Proceed on HWY 101 for 37.5 mi."

The system had reconfigured the path to our destination based on the choice we made to ignore the last route. Cool. No information was lost.

We drove on and followed her directions for about two hours. Then, we saw a familiar exit. John seemed to recall taking that road before as a short cut. Only, SHE didn't acknowledge the cut through. We called his parents, who were planning to meet up with us, and his Dad advised us to take the short cut...not knowing we had the navigation telling us differently. John, confused and not wanting to make a wrong decision, pulled over and asked for directions from a hairy, smelly, dude at a gas station. The dude confirmed HER directions.

John chuckled and said, "We should have listened to HER, she knows where we're going and where we've been."

SHE knew where we were going and where we had been. SHE knew the correct path for us. And when we doubted, questioned and even detoured the road to our destination, she reprogrammed and gracefully continued to guide us.

Sound familiar?

I am so humbled by the grace God has given my family. I'm on my knees confessing for doubting HIS ability to make my path straight. I am in AWE and wonder at how HE can aline the stars and direct my life when I make decisions or have moments that cloud up my future. HE has NEVER failed to open my eyes and shine light on HIS path...even when I can't understand or find reason for HIS direction.

HE gathers up the fruit of my worry, fear and anxiety about the future. Then HE squeezes it like a juicer and serves it's nectar in a crystal glass on a silver platter, saying, "Take. Drink. This is my blood." HE gathers up the messes I've made and the mistakes that linger, and bakes them into a luscious apple pie that is The Word and says, "Take. Eat. This is my body." HE soaps up my hands with the Dawn of Resurrection and guides me to The Water that cleanses my soul of imperfection. HE cloaks me with the fabrics of his spirit and protects every footprint my sandals dig.

Recently, our family was faced with some major financial decisions, and we were feeling uncertain about which path to take. As always, God provided for our needs in ways we never could have expected, and he made it VERY clear as to which direction we should take...HIS direction. He always gives us just enough, according to HIS standard. For that, I am grateful and extremely humbled at the blessings he sees fit for our family. I can't help but feel unworthy.