Have you ever wanted something to begin, last forever, AND end at the same time?
Last fall, I wanted this pg SOOOO very much to begin.
Then, after a few scares over the holidays, I wanted it SOOOOO very much to last forever.
Now, 9.5 months later, I SOOOOO can't wait for it to end.
Yes, I'm miserable. Yes, I haven't slept in 3days because of early labor contractions. Yes, I remain in a constant state of prayer, asking for forgiveness for my daily thoughts of punching random, and not so random, people in the face for asking stupid questions like, "Uh, Christina, ya think your pregnant enough?"
What? Seriously? You better run, Dude!
But that's not why I can't wait for this pg to end.
I can't wait because in a few days (or God help me, weeks) a missing piece to our family puzzle will be found. The shadow of a child I invisioned running behind S-O and Rae on the playground last summer, will finally have a face. The accidental lie I told early last fall to a lady at CVS will become truth (she asked me how many children I had, and I, without missing a beat and without being pg at the time, answered, "I've got three girls.")
I can't wait to dress them in matching dresses and hairbows.
I can't wait to see Rae's face when she meets her Baby Sister.
I can't wait for S-O to stand proudly with her arm around Rae, looking down on the precious baby that completes their trio.
I pray for a happy, healthy, baby girl.
I pray for a swift, uneventful, labor.
I pray John and I can manage the pain, together.
I pray that during the most difficult parts of labor I don't punch him in the face when he looks me square in the eyes and says, 'You can do it. I know you can. I love you.'
But mostly I pray to thank God for the opportunity to create this child and for the strength to safely bring her into this world.
Monday, July 5, 2010
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