Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Glory Baby

Today was going to be the day we surprised our friends and family.

Today was going to be the day we posted the pic we took over the weekend of Baby Rae in S-O's 'Big Sister' shirt and waited for everyone to figure out our good news.

Today was going to be the day I added the video of my inlaws 'figuring it out' over the weekend to Facebook and our Blog.

Today was going to be the day I put last months miscarriage (or chemical pg as the medical experts call it) behind me and rejoiced that God gave us another chance at being pg.

Today was going to be THAT day.

This too shall pass.
God has a plan.
It wasn't meant to be.
Time will heal.
You were only 5weeks. Oh well then, at least you weren't _____wks (insert a number between 5 and 40)
At least you can GET pregnant.
There must have been an abnormality with the baby. Consider yourself lucky.
Maybe it was another girl and next time it will be your boy.
You shouldn't have tested so early. Why do you keep doing that to yourself?
It will happen again, have faith.
You should plant a tree, journal your experience, buy a remembrance necklace, maybe it will help heal.
Next time, don't tell everyone until you're in the second trimester, it may jinx it.
You can try again next month, or in three months, your choice.
Did you have to have a D&C?
One time, at band camp, a friend of my friend Jane, knew a girl who had a miscarriage.
Are you ok?
Yes, God has a plan. A plan bigger than anything I can dream up.
We are grateful, joyful even, despite the emotional and physical pain because we know that one day we will look back and be thankful for these experiences. Not necessarily thankful for the pain, but thankful for the growth that comes from the pain.
I plan to buy another rememberance necklace in honor of this angel baby. And, next May, our Mother's Day Tribute will have a whole new meaning.
Until then, Glory Baby, like the song by Watermark says, "Heaven will hold you before we do, but we miss you everyday."


Michelle Cantu Wilson said...

Something told me to come here.
I'm crying for you.
I love you, friend, and I love that little glory baby, too.
God bless you.

Mary Ellen said...

You know I am here to listen and be a shoulder to cry on. The love a mother has for a child does not just begin when they are born. It is deeper and wider than any one moment in time can hold. Those hopes and dreams are there the min that second line pop in you vision and nothing can take that away. I am so very sorry for your loss and I am praying for you body to heal and your heart to feel comforted. ((BIG HUGS))

Candy said...

Praying for you and thinking of you during this time.

lyse said...

You were words are profound. And, I know these words you have heard many say, but just know that I am praying for you and your family.
Hugs to you!

Amber said...

My heart hurts for you. I love you. I know there is nothing I can say. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

MSW said...

Eyes closed, breath held, waiting.
So faint, was it all in my head?
And no.
Eyes raw, gut hollow, not-sleeping.
That dream is done,
But I won’t forget.

The sun keeps coming up,
Even when you could wish it to stop.
Mother Nature can be a b****.

PoetLady said...

"Just to Hold You"
In Memory of Precious Coble (miscarried)

Written in 2005

By: Maria Coble (me)

I never held you in my arms.
Sometimes I really wish I could.
Just touch you once.
Whisper and know you are hearing me.

I want a baby like my friend's I saw today.
Oh, I want my baby.
They are so soft and sometimes cry,
But sometimes they burrow in your neck
Like they want to become part of you again.

And I want you part of me again.

I wish I could have held you.
I wish I could have told you goodbye.

But sometimes I know maybe it's best I didn't hold you.
For right now,
If somehow I could hold you for that last hug,
I know I could never let you go again.

And I would have to.
You aren't mine to have on earth.
But they would have to take you by force.
For if I could hold you,
If I could only hold you
I don't think I could ever let you go again.

So now I hold you in my heart.
And everyday, you're in my thoughts.
People talk to me and sometimes I think,
"Why aren't they mentioning the baby?
Why don't they say what they are thinking?"

Then, I realize,
They aren't thinking of you.
You're always in my mind.
I can almost sense you in the room.
But they didn't love you
So they can't feel you at all.

I feel I'm walking through life alone
For only I am holding your memory.

But I didn't want a memory.
I wanted a baby
A baby with many memories ahead.

Dear God,
Can you give my baby a hug from me tonight?

I want to hold my baby.

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