A WARNING to all Expectant Fathers:

NEVER, I repeat, NEVER ask or say the following to your significant other, who is pg with your child:

- "Who ate all the queso? I only got a little bit when we opened the jar three days ago!"

- "Ranch dip? On _____________ (insert any food the pg woman is eating like eggs, pancakes, peanut butter and tomato sandwich, apples...etc)

- "Wow Honey, you can already fit into my pants?"

- "I am so tired."

- "My _________ (insert any part of the human body) hurts."